A Note from the Creator
This satirical website was created by Russ Brittian purely for laughs and as a creative outlet to cope with the sometimes frustrating aspects of bureaucracy we all encounter.
I want to sincerely thank the dedicated staff at Perry Point VA Medical Center for their tireless commitment and everything they do to care for the veterans under their charge. Your service to those who served is deeply appreciated, and this satire is in no way a reflection of the genuine care and hard work you provide every day. Thank you for your dedication to our veterans.
Supporting Veterans in Recovery
While this page is all in good fun, my commitment to veterans is very real. I'm developing Recovery Co-Pilot, an app designed to support veterans and others facing addiction, homelessness, and mental health challenges.
Our Mission Statement
The Perry Point VA Medical Center is committed to maintaining the highest standards of bureaucratic opacity, systematic non-responsiveness, and institutional indifference. We strive to ensure that every veteran inquiry is met with an appropriate level of deflection, referral to another department, or strategic silence.
Our core values include:
- Accountability Avoidance: We maintain a robust chain of command specifically designed so no individual can ever be held responsible for any decision.
- Process Over People: Forms, procedures, and protocols will always take precedence over patient care or common sense.
- Strategic Ambiguity: Clear answers are the enemy of effective bureaucracy.
- Perpetual Training: Our staff is always in training, ensuring maximum unavailability during business hours.
- Question Deflection Excellence: Every inquiry will be met with either a referral, a request for more paperwork, or a citation of policy section 42.8.3(c)(ii).
- Morale-Based Closures: Staff morale is so important to us that we close for it at least three times a week. We regret nothing.
⚡ Live Facility Performance Metrics ⚡
Updated in Real-Time | Last Updated: Never
*Metrics sourced from our Office of Accountability, which was dissolved in 2023 due to a complete absence of accountability. Data accuracy: unverified. Data integrity: questionable. Data: probably made up. Contact our analytics team for clarification. They are in a meeting.